THE BACKGROUND:
As a child of the 80’s, I was confident that I had seen all the movies that I needed to see and even all the movies I wish I hadn’t seen (looking at you E.T.) but a conversation with my friend, Ms. Dinosaur Trainer (DT if you’re nasty), quickly disabused me of that notion. During one of our discussions (more like a PhD dissertation) on the merits of all things Jeff Goldblum, DT (because I am nasty) let it be known her love of Earth Girls are Easy, a film that I steadfastly ignored and had zero interest forcing upon my eyeballs. Serendipity struck two days later, whilst browsing Amazon Prime for some mindless entertainment, Geena Davis and a blue furry Jeff Goldblum made their way to my screen. Not one to pass up a fun coincidence, I checked out the trailer and….my heart sank, this looked absolutely terrible, but I trusted DT’s taste so I jumped in anyway.
So first things first, I am a connoisseur of cheese, cheese of the movie, music, art, goat, etc. varieties. Anything cheese and cheese-adjacent I will proceed to gobble up with glee. Second things second, I have a high threshold for bad movies. I do not want to enjoy bad movies, but so help me god, I cannot help myself. I say this only because as I devour these 80’s movies, my joy over cheese, camp, and wackadoodle may be a lot higher than most normal humans. OBVIOUSLY, Earth Girls are Easy is a MASTERPIECE. I can state with 97% confidence that it is a part of the Criterion Collection, has been added to the Library of Congress, and has won the Nobel Peace Prize.
THE SET UP:
I will be watching only 80’s movies that I have not seen and have no prior knowledge of other than what I’ve seen in the trailer. Obviously, some of the movies I encounter are very much part of pop culture and I will have preconceived ideas of what it’s about and will have seen blips and clips. But all of the movies included in this series I am viewing for the very first time.
This started out as ridiculous and ridiculously silly text exchanges between DT and me as I processed what I was watching. With most of the movies I watch, I will be doing (and have already done) follow up research* and any further notes will be added.
*hahahahaha…research….i.e. google search/wikipedia/IMDB no deep dives here folks.
DT and I have already lived through quite a few so the first movies have been transcribed (and full disclosure all of the terrible spelling errors will have been fixed). SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
45 seconds in…..I’m already WTF??????????????????????????????????????????
Ok the musical in the “Curl up and Dye” salon has sold me. I’m in 100%*
*I had no idea there would be song and dance involved in this film
Also….”Curl up and Dye”
Wait…..sooooooooo, the writers smoked, snorted, and huffed ALL the drugs whilst writing this movie, right????? (I had no idea Julie Brown wrote this!)
Geena Davis’ acting is way better than what was in the preview. This movie is completely ridiculous. I’m very much enjoying it.
I say hot damn….Mr. Goldblum. They don’t make Yinzers like him anymore.
Hmmmmmmmmm……It appears that there is a night club located on site at the Griffith Observatory…there is no club at the Griffith Observatory, sadly.
Yes, I’m that nerd that goes to Los Angeles and makes a visit to an observatory.
Damon Wayans is a national treasure*
*(at that time I was blissfully unaware of said Wayans’ thoughts on women…and life)
The chemistry between Wayans and the dude he has the “dance-off” with is off the charts. That’s the real love story, I’m telling you. The 80’s just wouldn’t allow it.
Ok I just read all your texts (because DT the elder was over and hahahahahaha)
Frank’s sitting next to me just staring at the screen like what the shit am I watching???? (Note: here’s Frank, lest you think Mr. Cat Wrangler should be worried: 
Oh I figured you would be busy, I just thought you’d enjoy my running commentary
(and here is the inkling/kernel/seedling of the missed in the 80’s movie idea)
Oh GOD!!! Geena just took 5 birth control pills…..AT ONCE…I’m nauseated just thinking about that.
LOL, I forgot about that!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….Beehive woman has beehive sunhat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m just gonna say….YOU. ARE. WELCOME.
Mr. Goldblum in 80’s mom windbreaker jacket is…………………………………………………………not good….especially with that 80’s puffy hair. He’s very much closing in on 80’s mom style…Thank God the director was intelligent enough to keep him shirtless for much of this movie.
JEEBUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOODY IS MICHAEL MCKEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREAKING LENNY…..SPINAL TAP…….I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heart Julie Brown. I remember these songs from my childhood, from watching so much Dr. Demento…..wait. What the hell…now that has me thinking….Did our parents even care about our innocence?
Alright they just drove to the beach in what appears to be a few minutes (10 minutes tops)……………..So I’ve just got to say this. Going to the beach from the Valley takes a long time. The director clearly does not care at all about trying to be realistic.
Well it was the 80’s…Was anything real?
So I have just put together how Jim Carrey got on In Living Color…duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Geena looks AMAZEBALLS in this….I mean COME ON!!!!!!!!!
Why is alien Jeff able to understand and contextualize the English language, while his buds cannot at all??? So unrealistic.
Damon Wayans is ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdorable in this.
Seriously though…every hipster today would gag over all of these clothes.
Well I always figured Jeff could understand because the other two came off as idiots. LOL
Ok….so if I’m going to be picky…I mean why would one smarty pants be traveling with two idiots? That makes zero sense, right? I mean there are definitely no idiots on Star Trek.
In all fairness, Star Trek started in the 60’s and this was the 80’s…
“Oh Witlok, I’m going to miss you least of all.”
Ahahahahaha, oh I need to watch this movie again now.
It’s so perfectly dumb.
“Give my love to Finland.” Oh my god!!!!
“Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
